Day 1321, The Levator Ani Award (1)

 

Announcement:

The Mike Pence, Levator Ani award,

Given each year by an impartial board,

To Trump supporters (or similar putz) (2)

Rise from opprobrium!  Reap this reward!

 

Eligibility:                                                                                 

Must support Trump or some similar putz,

Real “ignoranus,” most heinous of butts—

Who thinks borborygmi constitute facts, (3)

Not for support of a klutz or a yutz. (4, 5)

 

Qualities of a “similar putz.”

One thinks borborygmi constitute facts,

Has sex with porn stars, cheats on income tax,

Life founded on fraud, constructed on lies,

Who would treat Covid with IV borax.

 

Support of a fraud who’s life is a lie,

Who won’t give a damn if more black people die,

Would mean either Trump or similar putz,

That one must support; then they’ll qualify.

 

First Awardee

Supporter of Trump (who’s also a putz,)

One who accepts what Trump pumps from his guts,

The first awardee, eponymously,

Is Mike Pence, of course, no ifs, ands, or buts.

 

(1)  Levator Ani, a muscle that supports the anus.  Laxity may lead to prolapse.

(2)  Putz, Yiddish, best translated into English slang as “dick.”

(3)  Borborygmi, the gurgling abdominal sounds caused by peristalsis—somewhat onomonopoetic.

(4)  Klutz, a clumsy or uncoordinated person.  There is no connotation of malice.

(5)  Yutz, Someone who is foolish, incompetent, who gives you a stomach ache, a pain in the ass.