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Admonition to a Lover (1) - Why so dilatory, lover?Prythee, why delay?All your groping did not move her,No cause for a stay.Prythee, why delay? Carroll told you, “No deal,” mister,When you copped a feel.Courts agreed, you groped a sister,‘Twas your last appeal,(That unwanted feel.) Your slime’s been adjudicated.And been judged a crime.Your course is not complicated.Pay… Read More

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  • Florida Man Finds $30,000 in Wawa Bathroom, Returns It, Ruins Florida’s Reputation June 25, 2026
    A Florida man walked into a Wawa bathroom in Palm Beach County carrying a black fanny pack containing $30,023 in cash — proceeds from selling his Pokémon collectibles, which he was planning to use to help pay for his sister’s medical procedure. He set it down. He walked out without it. He came back. The […]
  • Trump Shares AI Image of Himself with Jesus; Pope Says Something About This June 22, 2026
    Sometime in spring 2026, Donald Trump shared an AI-generated image depicting himself alongside Jesus Christ, rendered in a style that can only be described as “celestial adjacency.” Various religious leaders condemned it as blasphemous. The image continued to circulate. This comes amid a broader pattern in which Trump has described the Iran war as having […]
  • Churchgoers in the Philippines Spot Jesus in the Clouds After Mass, Take Video June 18, 2026
    Worshippers leaving the Basilica Minore of Our Lady of Penafrancia in Naga City, Philippines, were treated in 2026 to what many described as a “beautiful” and “remarkable” cloud formation that appeared, to the eyes of faith, to resemble Jesus Christ. The sighting occurred in an open field. Singing ensued. Video was taken and uploaded to […]
  • Pope Leo XIV Tells Trump and Hegseth That God Does Not Bless Conflicts June 15, 2026
    In a remarkable act of institutional self-preservation, the Catholic Church has issued a formal rebuke of the United States government’s claim that God is a co-belligerent in the Iran war. Pope Leo XIV, who is both the head of the world’s largest Christian denomination and apparently the only person left who has read the source […]
  • U.S. Military Commanders Tell Troops God Anointed Trump to Start Armageddon June 11, 2026
    According to a formal complaint filed with a military watchdog group in early 2026, a U.S. military commander told his combat unit — men and women with guns and aircraft and the capacity to start or end things — that “President Trump has been anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to […]