September 26, All Shook Up (as sung by Donald Trump) (1)

 

A’wella bless my soul, what’s so wrong with me?

I got a lawsuit from the New York AG.

My friends tell me that’s not all she’ll cook up.

She’s too much; I’m all shook up.  (moaning and groaning syllables)

 

Well, my hands are shaky and my knees are weak.

I can’t seem to stop the new facts every week.

Who can I blame when I have such luck?

She’s too much: I’m all shook up. (moaning and groaning syllables)

 

You don’t have to guess what’s on my mind,

I am really mixed up and I’m in a bind.

When I’m near that girl who won’t let me rest;

My heart beats so that I fear an arrest.

 

She subpoenaed me; what a chill I got.

My hemorrhoids burn; they’re volcano hot.

She’s not a gal that I’d like to shtup;  (2)

She’s too much; I’m all shook up.

(Continue to moan and groan)

 

My tongue gets tied when I try to speak.

My lawyers say that I’m up the creek.

There’s only one cure for the troubles I’ve got;

It’s to bribe a judge and then not get caught.

 

She subpoenaed me; what a chill I got.

My hemorrhoids burn; they’re volcano hot.

She’s not a gal that I’d like to shtup;

She’s too much; I’m all shook up.

(Continue to moan and groan)

 

• “All Shook Up” was written by Otis Blackwell in 1956 and recorded by Elvis Presley in 1957.  It was his first Number 1 hit.  Just who first thought of the title and what the song should be about is disputed.
• “Shtup,” Yiddish or “Yinglish” for having sex with someone. Trump apparently learned this from his daughter, who married Jared Kushner.