NRA Lullaby (sung to the tune of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”)
Stephen Baird, 2008

God rest ye merry, citizens
Let nothing you dismay.
Society’s protected by
Your local NRA.
The guns that should be well-controlled
Are free to circulate
And Dick Cheney can buy one in your state,
In his state;
Damn near anyone can buy one in your state.

Judge Antonin Scalia says
The NRA was right.
He said the constitution says
That we all have the right
To use a gun to save ourselves
From crooks and bears and elves.
But will handguns protect us from ourselves,
From ourselves?
Tell me, will handguns protect us from ourselves?

Think not that you’re protected by
That gun there in your house.
It only makes it probable
You’ll be shot by your spouse.
Or should you hear a footstep
And then run to get your gun,
If you shoot first then ask what you have done,
You have done,
You may find that you just shot your teenage son.