Fifth Avenue Phatz
Here comes Fifth Avenue Phatz,
The hustler of Manhattan.
And, if you look at his stats,
He’s coming just to fatten
His bloated bank account,
And (on the side) to mount
Another nubile, ten-ranked honey, but
Mostly Phatz is coming for the money.
Here comes Fifth Avenue Phatz,
The connoisseur of pussy.
And, we’re not speaking of cats,
No, not your pussy wussy.
Beware, he’ll cop a feel.
That’s his “art of the deal.”
Though you may not think that’s so funny, still
Next to pussy, Phatz is grabbing money.
The fat man of Fifth Avenue,
If you’re a ten, he might grope you.
Collecting debts, you must await
The current ruble exchange rate.
There goes Fifth Avenue Phatz,
For chay and medoviki.
And his financial chitchats
With Russians, (could be sticky.)
He likes that Russian dough
And everyone should know,
Although he likes those Russian honeycakes,
Phatz prefers them servin’ up the money.
Stephen Baird, November, 2017
Glossary: Medoviki—Russian honeycakes
Chay—Russian tea