Donald at the Bat – Day 941, Invertebrate Republicans

Day 941, Invertebrate Republicans

 

Returning to invertebrates and dwelling in the sea,

Republicans devolving evolutionarily,

As exoshelled invertebrates, now heading for the swamp,

They may not do too well; that’s where the alligators chomp.

 

McConnell’s turtle is their highest form of vertebrate

And hiding in his shell is Mitch’s most adaptive trait.

We know that evolution creates more diversity;

Just hiding in a shell is not the best security.

 

Chorus:

Republicans, Republicans, you haven’t got a spine,

Just brains like crabs and lobsters readapting to the brine.

Since evolution favors more adaptability,

Returning to the Cambrian means you’ll be history.  (1)

 

We know that global warming will melt all the glacier ice.

The data are conclusive and we recognize the price.

Republicans deny it and withdraw into a shell,

Content to let our fossil fuels ignite the fires of hell.

 

Chorus 2:

Republicans, Republicans, you haven’t got a spine,

Just brains like crabs and lobsters, re-adapting to the brine.

Since global warming is destroying our environment,

It’s shocking to let turtles paralyze the government.

 

Republicans invertebrates help Trump remain a shark.

He feels constrained as president, prefers to be monarch.

We know that sharks eat everything, including with a shell.

Is that bell we hear tolling the Republican’s death knell?  (2)

 

Chorus 3:

Republicans, Republicans, you haven’t got a spine,

Just brains like crabs and lobsters re-adapting to the brine.

They’ll take their devolution back before the Cambrian,

Back even to the fossils of the Ediacaran.

 

(1)  The “Cambrian Explosion” was a period from roughly 540 to 490 million years ago when there was a huge proliferation of pre-vertebrate creatures, that fossilized because they had developed shells.  Further work has shown that some of these exoshelled, creatures had evolved during the preceding Ediacaran age, ranging from roughly 600 to 540 million years ago.

(2)  See, “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” by John Donne, 1572-1631.