Day 885, McConnell Limericks

 

Since Mitch, the Galapagos turtle

Has proved an impossible hurdle,

And nothing can pass

Except Mitch’s gas,

The Senate is rendered infertile.

 

Pelosi says, “He won’t support us.”

(The turtle, or is he a tortoise?)

Mitch just thinks, “Obstruct”

And we are all fucked.

Why wasn’t Mitch just an abortus?

 

Back at Mitch McConnell’s conception,

The Creator’s faulty perception

Gave us constant grief,

There’s been no relief,

An argument for contraception.

 

To govern is like procreation,

There’s mutual cooperation.

Life ‘twixt plated decks

Will complicate sex

And leave Mitch with just masturbation.

 

Are there lessons here for instruction?

Will his legacy be obstruction?

The courts are all stacked

With judges Mitch backed,

So sex must be for reproduction.