Donald at the Bat – Day 642, Big Bang Day

Day 642, Big Bang Day

 

This date, October twenty third, four thousand four, BC,

The first day of Creation in the old chronology

Of Bishop Ussher of Armagh, who wrote a famous book

About Earth’s age that he deduced (on Google, if you look.)

 

Chronology through Genesis, the prophets and the kings,

Let Bishop Ussher calculate, among some other things,

Creation to the Flood, to present (sixteen fifty then)

And since he was their Bishop, Irish folks all said, “Amen.”

 

So here’s a little song to sing to brighten up your day.

It’s all about the Big Bang and what we believe today.

Hank Williams composed the tune for his song, “I Saw the Light.”

Our parody is on YouTube, so sing along tonight.

 

Bang!  There Was Light.  The Galapagos Mountain Boys

 

Once there was nothing, no place and no time,

No gravity and no primal slime.

Then suddenly, like a lightning storm at night,

Bang! Went creation; then there was light.

 

Chorus:

Bang! there was light, like dynamite,

No more nothing, no more night.

After the Big Bang, the darkness took flight.

Bang! went creation, then there was light.

Verse:

Nobody knows who first lit the fuse.

Some credit Yahweh, God of the Jews.

But those agnostics who doubt the Bible’s right,

Just say, “Shit happens; Bang! there was light.”

(Chorus)

After the Big Bang, events happened fast;

All of the cosmos came from the blast.

Theories are complex, abstruse, and recondite,

Which means we can’t say why there was light.

(Chorus)

Coda:

We can’t say why, but Bang! there was light.

We can’t say how, but Bang! there was light.

We can’t say where, but Bang! there was light.

Fourteen billion years ago, Bang! there was light.  (1)

 

(1)  Modern calculations are 13.8 billion years ago, but who’s counting?