Day 512, Mike Cohen’s In Deep (May be sung to “Home on the Range”) (1)
Mike Cohen’s in deep;
It’s so bad he can’t sleep;
Legal bills are impossibly high.
Will Mike go to jail
If he cannot make bail?
Will the Donald leave him high and dry?
Trump, Trump was his man.
Does Mike regret choices he made?
For Donald would play;
Michael Cohen would pay
All the women the Donald had laid.
One of the schlemiels
Cleaning up Donald’s deals:
That’s no job for a nice Jewish boy.
Each time Donald ruts
Michael cleans off his putz,
As his mother says, “Feh! Michael, Oy!”
Trump, Trump was his man.
Does Mike regret choices he made?
For Donald would screw
Playmates and porn stars, too,
Just how many has Donald Trump laid?
Will Mike Cohen flip?
Will he jump off the ship?
He’s a Jew working in a pigsty.
In mixed metaphors,
Mueller’s men are not whores.
There are some things that money can’t buy.
Trump, Trump was his man.
Does Mike regret choices he made?
He knows Donald cheats;
(He’s been washing his sheets,)
But, abandoned now, Mike is afraid.
- “Home on the Range,” 1873, music: Daniel Kelley, text: Dr. Brewster Higley