December 16, Trump Trading Cards

 

Trump’s sick narcissism is back on display,

From a “major announcement” he made today.

So Trump Trading Cards are now offered for sale,

For just ninety nine bucks: act now, don’t delay.

 

Will Trump’s new venture make a profit or fail?

Will he send his cards in plain wrappers by mail?

And what will it cost for an autographed card?

Will there be a market for Trump cards resale?

 

All careful investors should be on their guard,

For lots of Trump projects involve some canard.

And some of his pictures are good for a laugh—

Like Superman (without abdominal lard.)

 

The Donald’s physique is like the “fatted calf.”

Each image is a photoshopped photograph—

Of a hunter or sheriff or astronaut—

All cynically aimed at his Trumpist riff-raff.

 

Though all of these pictures are things Trump is not,

He still hopes this offering won’t go for naught.

The Donald needs money for his legal fees.

So his ample stomach is tied in a knot.

 

The forecast for Donald predicts heavy seas

From papers the FBI had to come seize.

With his narcissism on public display,

Are the Trump Trading Cards, the trump cards of sleaze?

 

Since Donald will have legal costs to defray,

I’d like to suggest a brief market survey.

So far, there’s no card showing Trump in the nude.

Would that one sell well?  And how much would you pay?