April 23, Tanning Your Testicles

April 23, Tanning Your Testicles (1)

 

Your androgen factory acting refractory?

Here’s what to do besides just sit and moan.

Start tanning your scrotum, the place where you tote ’em,

The testes that make all your testosterone.

 

Show your balls to the sunlight, you’re certain to be right;

With your trust in Tucker, right on everything.

You won’t be a sucker, just listen to Tucker,

And join the Fox News church and hymns that they sing.

 

Chorus:  Tanning your testicles, singing Fox canticles,

A nude beach or locker room, you’ll be the star.

Scrotum turned ruby-red, will make you great in bed,

So right and so masculine: known near and far.

 

If your balls should get sunburned, then it’s time that you turned,

To redden your ass just like your scrotal sac.

When your red balls are spied, fame will spread far and wide,

All will know those balls are prepared to “bushwhack.”

 

Chorus:  Tanning your testicles, singing Fox canticles,

A nude beach or locker room, jewels on display.

Scrotum turned ruby-red will make you great in bed.

“So, put us in, coach, we are ready to play.”

 

  • See article by Dana Milbank, Washington Post, April 18, 2022. Tucker Carlson, Fox News, advocates tanning your testicles as therapy for low testosterone levels.